You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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