Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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