Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
