That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
