Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
