We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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