Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
