Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Watching her eat just hurts me
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
