So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
