I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
