if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
