started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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