we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
