We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize