Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
