New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize