the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dicks are not precious.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
