How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just found a bag of teeth...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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