ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
