all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Dicks are not precious.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
