You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
