Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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