Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
