Do vagina's smell?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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