Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
