Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
