remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize