i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
