last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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