; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize