So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
