What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
