i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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