maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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