Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
