Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
