Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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