Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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