My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
