he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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