Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
