Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
