12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
