He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sacagawea was the original milf.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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