No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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