i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
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