Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
