He told me they were just razor bumps!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
