When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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