have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
