Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
