i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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