It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
