I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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