The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
