ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
