Pappa wants mamma naked
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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