i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
