He disabled his match.com account in front of me
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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