And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
