my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize