fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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