i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
