this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize