After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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