please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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