you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
