Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
