You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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