This girl is more easily done than said...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
