Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize