You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
