Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
