i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
