I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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