Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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