just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
