It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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