I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
