So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
