im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
