i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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